Wedding Guests Dos and Don’ts

As wedding planners, we often learn of challenges that our brides and grooms encounter relating to their guests. Surprisingly, many couples share similar frustrations. Here we identify a few common pet peeves and offer related tips to help make everyone’s day at the wedding fabulous.

The Invitation

Let’s start from the beginning— being invited. Most wedding invitations include a response card to communicate whether or not you plan to attend. Couples often find that on the date their RSVPs are due, response cards remain outstanding, resulting in them having to follow-up with invitees by phone. Be sure to return the response card on time, and by this, we literally mean send it back. Avoid e-mail or phone call responses if the invitation includes a response card. Typically, the response card will have a line for you to write your name. Remember to include your last name, and feel free to jot a note to the bride and groom on the card. Couples appreciate receiving messages, and some will even include your hand-written well wishes in their wedding scrapbook. Also, be mindful of the number of seats reserved for you. If the envelope is addressed to your name “and guest,” interpret that to mean that you can bring one additional person with you, and no more than one. Bringing a guest for whom you did not RSVP should also be avoided.

Children

Another sticky point for many couples is whether to allow children at their wedding. If your children are invited to attend, by all means, feel free to bring them. If not, avoid asking if you may add on your children, as it might create an awkward situation for the couple. Sometimes, the decision to have an adult-only event may be financially driven; other times, the couple may be limited by the size of their chosen venue, or it may simply be that the couple would truly like to be in the company of adults on their wedding day. Whatever the case may be, lend your kokua by observing their wishes.

Week of the Wedding

Brides and grooms spend the last few days prior to their wedding attending to final preparation details. Often, couples find themselves being pulled in a number of different directions: wanting to spend time with family, friends, and bridal party members who have assembled for their wedding, gathering and relaying critical information to vendors, and sometimes even working up until their wedding. Understand that this is a hectic time for couples, so to best support them in the week prior to their wedding, avoid pulling them in yet another direction. Rather than contacting them with questions, see if there might be someone else who you could direct questions to, and if you are traveling to attend the wedding, arrange for your own transportation while in town, unless it is prearranged for you by the bride and groom.

Promptness

While common sense, punctuality warrants its own special note. While it may seem easy to slip in unnoticed, multiple latecomers can, and often do, prevent a ceremony or reception from starting on time. Bear in mind that with weddings, many vendors (musicians, photographers, limos, etc.) charge by the hour, and delays could lead to additional costs for the bride and groom. The bottom line is that brides and grooms wish to celebrate their special day with you and they would love for you to enjoy their wedding day too. Demonstrating your cooperation by following these simple suggestions may be one of the best gifts you could give to a bride and groom—the gift of your support.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 1st, 2008 at 6:27 pm and is filed under Archives - Jul-Sep 2008. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.